The Quotable Spankster:

“Do you have a pen?”
“This is 65253… we’ve been compromised…”

Short and sweet, this prank spanking isn’t all that original, but I knew I had to take a crack at it anyway. I’ll have to try again someday, perhaps I’ll get someone a little less jaded, y’know?

At any rate, I figured I’d go ahead and post it while I’m preparing the next episode (to be uploaded in a few days). Thanks for being patient! My collection is swelling nicely, so there will be plenty of spankings ahead!

Brand Spanking Links: A Paranoid’s Ultimate Survival Guide, telemarketer prank, telephone prank, spanking telemarketers

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The Quotable Spankster:

“Hi, Mary Lou. It’s… it’s been a while since I’ve talked to you.”
“I feel that it’s very important for me to finish… what I began…”
“If I run into you, that’s great. May the best… best person win.”
“Okay…”

This was the third call from Mary Lou, and I have to say, I was stunned. Her first two calls (”The Mary Lou Mystery Show, Pt. 1” and “The Mary Lou Mystery Show, Pt. 2“) were a day apart. But then there was a three week telemarketer drought, and I figured I had landed on some kind of twisted “Do Not Call” list. (My worst nightmare…)

 Thankfully, this wasn’t the case. Just as with Parts 1 & 2, I didn’t have this planned out in advance. I just picked up the phone and started rambling. I really hope she calls back someday, because now I have a full story unraveling in my head about how I saw her at the hotel in Iowa, and how she’s a pretty good shot after all… almost nicked my earlobe clean off…

Brand Spanking Links: Iowa, Get Paid, Prank Calls, TeleSpank, Spanking Telemarketers

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The Quotable Spankster:

“It… it’s still alive… I can still feel it…”
“It’s kind of like a, big maggot, I guess…”
“I’ve gotta say, this is NOT worth $15.00.”
“Maybe you should see a doctor, sir.””

I planned this one a few weeks in advance. In fact, I even practiced on my brother a few days beforehand, and when he heard the realistic plunking of foreign objects into the toilet and asked what the heck was wrong with me, I just KNEW I had a golden spanking on my hands. Or at least the makings of one…

Talk about persistence, though. I mean, I know I told him that I really wanted him to continue so I could lower my mortgage, but COME ON! The lining of my stomach is practically hanging outta the corner of my mouth, here! Do I really care to answer what year my house was built, or whether it was made of straw or stick or bricks? I Think Not.

As fun as it was to pretend I’m puking my guts out throughout this one, this spanking’s glorious highlight can be found in its final three seconds. It’s a virtual TeleSpank Party Line!

Brand Spanking Links: Stomach bug, vomit, bole weevil, weasel, radio contests, larva, telemarketer prank, telephone prank, spanking telemarketers

Here’s a small visual to help enhance the episode… free of charge.

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