The Quotable Spankster:

“I’m gonna tell you like this. Look. I’m be honest w’tchu…”
“You’re not even going to give me a cracker?”
“No, sir. We’re not talkin’ about crackers, we’re not talking about Easy Cheese. We’re talking about a vacation package, sir.”
“There is some qualifications… I’m not sure if you want to or not“
“Can I have an iPod?”

Tom didn’t really let me get a word in edgewise. As soon as he heard the initial hesitation in my response he went in for the kill. If I was anyone but a professional Spanker of Telemarketers, I might not have had a chance. As the case may be, however, I AM a professional Spanker. So I was ready to lock horns with this bad boy, straight out of the gate.

You’ll note that Tom is the kind of person Elaine and Jerry discussed on Seinfeld when they ranted about fast talkers. The guy was practically an auctioneer. Missed his calling, no doubt. (No, wait… after a Google search it seems they talked about LOW Talkers, not fast talkers. Ah, whatever… I’m keeping it in there…)

He didn’t want to play ball, though. I gave him multiple opportunities to sweeten the deal, put a little more spin on his spiel, but he wasn’t gonna have none of that. In fact, in the middle of my suggestions, he actually began to talk me OUT of going to the presentation. (Blink and you miss it…)

The kicker was my iPod question, though. That’s when you can actually hear the vein in Tom’s forehead throb a little bit louder, hear the sizzle as his blood begins to boil just a little bit hotter. You can’t miss it.

Brand Spanking Links: Travel, Florida, Free Gifts, Cracker, Triscuit, Easy Cheese, Fairfield Inn & Suites, iPod, Prank Calls, Pranks, Spanking Telemarketers, TeleSpank.com

Share This