The Quotable Spankster:

“You’re scaring me, sir.”
“Can you feel it?” “Probably. Yeah, I guess so.”
“All ghosts are are electrons leftover from somebody’s spirit.”
“Are there ghosts in my computer?”
“An’ there’s four billion trillion electrons in your body.”
“I dropped a remote, but I didn’t drop all three.”

Once more I took an opportunity to call upon the vast depths of telemarketer wisdom and insight. Honestly, who knew that we just recently figured out that each electron holds about 100 gigabytes? Wow. What’s more, this guy really got into it, going so far as to give me a spontaneous lesson in Metaphysical Mumbo Jumbo 101.

What I found hilarious was the fact that even when I was pretty much busted and “the jig was up,” he STILL reassured that whatever ghosts might be in the house can’t hurt me. Now THAT is a thoughtful telemarkter!

Brand Spanking Links: Satellite, Pulse, White Noise, spirits, Computers, iPod Nano, Prank Calls, Pranks, Spanking Telemarketers, TeleSpank.com

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The Quotable Spankster:

“What’s a Starz package?”
“I don’t subscribe to astrology.”
“I’ll just set up a time for you, and you’re not committing to anything at all.”
“But what happens if your people come out?“
“A lot of kids today, they don’t know their geography well.”

Alan was a nice enough guy. I’d say he was almost as polite as Brandon was. To be honest, I didn’t know where I was headed with this one, so I decided to fall back on the “I can’t decide without my wife” tactic. I made a point to position her as far away as possible, just in case Alan was gonna press me for the Hard Sell (as expected). Overall? I’d say it’s a luke-warm spanking set in a frigid climate.

On a side note, if you’re ever in the mood for a frigid, Antarctic novel, I heartily recommend Matt Reilly’s “Ice Station.” By far the most action-packed page turner I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. (And that goes for most ALL of his stuff!)

Brand Spanking Links: Prank Calls, Pranks, Spanking Telemarketers, TeleSpank.com

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The Quotable Spankster:

“And your telephone number, please?”
“Uh, it’s 7-6-5-7… 1-6-9-5-2.”
“Is this being recorded?” “No.”

This is another short but sweet, to-the-point spanking. I had the initial goal of making my Public (Podcast?) Service Announcement, but when she started gathering my information I just couldn’t resist messing her head a bit. Unfortunately, in the process I got a li’l dizzy myself, nearly losing my bearing.

But as the conversation played out, I was ready to jockey for position, reclaim the mic and lay it on the line.

Bottom line? As a podcast on iTunes, TeleSpank.com is one of hundreds competing in the comedy slot. I’d like to rise above the riff-raff out there. The podcast posers, if you will. I want TeleSpank to be one of the few, the proud, the featured podcasts. But I can’t do it without your help.

So seriously. If you have an iTunes account and wanna convince me this is as much fun for you as it is for me, consider clicking on the Review This Podcast button at the top. You’ll be whisked away to the iTunes Music Store where you can profess to the world your love of all things TeleSpank.

I’d really, really appreciate it. Honestly. I mean it. I’m not just blowing smoke, here.

Pretty please?

Brand Spanking Links: Review TeleSpank.com, Prank Calls, Pranks, Spanking Telemarketers, TeleSpank.com

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