The Quotable Spankster:

“May I have your name please?” “Uh… Keith.” “Chief?”
“I’m not, I’m not… I’m not, I’m not…“
“It would definitely really sound healthy… nor sanitary… to put a larvae in a bite.”
“I can’t gives you a comment on that. But I can enroll you in this program.“

I really DID have a nasty bout with a boil around the time of this episode. You know, MRSA? The “Super Bug” everyone’s been hearing about? Yeah, well, it ain’t so super, lemme tell ya. Starts as a pimple and then it’s all downhill from there. The difference between MY situation and “Keith’s” is I had mine professionally lanced at a clinic, rather than waiting for the lovely thing to burst on its own.

Wanna talk about pain? Go get a festering boil lanced and squeezed and pinched. Then we’ll talk. (Boy How DEE, did that hurt. An’ I have a low pain tolerance to start with. Seriously. You’d think I was a redhead or something.)

But enough about my daring survival stories… give it a listen already!

Brand Spanking Links: MRSA, Maggot Therapy, More Maggot Therapy, Prank Calls, Pranks, Spanking Telemarketers, TeleSpank.com

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The Quotable Spankster:

“Are you between the ages of 18 and 70?”
“Sure, I’m like, 69.” “Oh! Perfect!”
“Ow! That hurts!!!”
“He grabbed my taser.” “Oh! No!”

Yes, this is a shameless attempt to capitalize on the Andrew “Don’t Tase Me, Bro!” Meyer incident of a few months ago. I admit this freely, so don’t bust my chops over it. In a few months the novelty of it all will wear off, but that catchphrase? Well, that’s gonna live on for eternity. (Can’t wait to explain to my grandkids that I was alive when the guy first shrieked it on YouTube. To which they’ll undoubtedly respond, “What’s YouTube!?!” Or, “What’s a taser!?”)

Anyhow, this is another installation what was completely unscripted. It’s not a favorite of mine, but like the others I think it’s still pretty dang funny. TeleSpank isn’t just always about wasting a telemarketer’s time. Sometimes it’s about giving them something to go home and talk about around the dinner table. You know, “How was your day, dear?” an’ stuff like that.

If I get a good opportunity I’ll try another crack at it someday. And I should emphasize that the recurring number theme was NOT intentional! It was the first number under 70 that stuck in my head and I ran with it. That’s it. Case closed. (Seriously. How nasty do you guys think I AM?!?)

Nevermind. Don’t answer that. I don’t wanna know.

Brand Spanking Links: The “Don’t Tase Me, Bro” Video, Wetness Protection, Prank Calls, Pranks, Spanking Telemarketers, TeleSpank.com

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