The Quotable Spankster:

“I have to pay YOU $900?!?”
“So, I didn’t win anything, then?”
“…and if more people would click on the ads, then I’d get paid more. Hint Hint.”
“I’m not just a one-date wonder…“
“I’ve got two balls and I use them. Wisely.”

I’ve debated whether to post this one since it’s a hefty 15 minutes long, but I’ve gotten enough positive feedback from people who listened to it on the official TeleSpank.com CD that I figured I’d make it available to everyone. (Yes, you might as well just hand me the generous Spankster of the Year award now, thank you very much…)

They say English is actually a very complex language to learn when compared to other languages. As Americans we might think we’re all that an’ a bag o’ chips, but when it comes to speaking our minds? Well, sometimes words have a way of gettin’ mixed up. I loved talking to Katie, though. Not only did I get an extended spanking out of the deal, but I think she actually thought I was funny. Seriously! She was also a heavy breather, which was kinda interesting as well. (Or were those sighs of exasperation?)

Overall, this episode waffles between painful and enjoyable (as usual), with plenty of awkward silences and a few subtle surprises for you, the listener. Although the audio quality degrades a bit toward the end, I think you’ll find it’s still well worth the full listen. Just slip on your headphones there at work and let the spankin’ begin…

Brand Spanking Links: Internet, MSN, AOL, Windows 98, Windows XP, Macintosh, The Macintosh Man In Me, Viruses, Google AdSense, Massage, Pop-Up Blocker, Spam Blocker, Scam Blocker, My Mother, Toilets, Buyer’s Remorse, Art of Persuasion, Spanish, Russian, Chechloslovakia, Aruba, Indian, The Simpsons, Smart, Package, Two Balls, Decision Making, Balls in a Sling, Prank Calls, Pranks, Spanking Telemarketers, TeleSpank.com

Share This

The Quotable Spankster:

“Do you have a pen?”
“This is 65253… we’ve been compromised…”

Short and sweet, this prank spanking isn’t all that original, but I knew I had to take a crack at it anyway. I’ll have to try again someday, perhaps I’ll get someone a little less jaded, y’know?

At any rate, I figured I’d go ahead and post it while I’m preparing the next episode (to be uploaded in a few days). Thanks for being patient! My collection is swelling nicely, so there will be plenty of spankings ahead!

Brand Spanking Links: A Paranoid’s Ultimate Survival Guide, telemarketer prank, telephone prank, spanking telemarketers

Share This

The Quotable Spankster:

“It… it’s still alive… I can still feel it…”
“It’s kind of like a, big maggot, I guess…”
“I’ve gotta say, this is NOT worth $15.00.”
“Maybe you should see a doctor, sir.””

I planned this one a few weeks in advance. In fact, I even practiced on my brother a few days beforehand, and when he heard the realistic plunking of foreign objects into the toilet and asked what the heck was wrong with me, I just KNEW I had a golden spanking on my hands. Or at least the makings of one…

Talk about persistence, though. I mean, I know I told him that I really wanted him to continue so I could lower my mortgage, but COME ON! The lining of my stomach is practically hanging outta the corner of my mouth, here! Do I really care to answer what year my house was built, or whether it was made of straw or stick or bricks? I Think Not.

As fun as it was to pretend I’m puking my guts out throughout this one, this spanking’s glorious highlight can be found in its final three seconds. It’s a virtual TeleSpank Party Line!

Brand Spanking Links: Stomach bug, vomit, bole weevil, weasel, radio contests, larva, telemarketer prank, telephone prank, spanking telemarketers

Here’s a small visual to help enhance the episode… free of charge.

Share This